Asking Questions

The Lewis quote is from “Mere Christianity”

“…Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all. If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.” (page 128)

I took this from Kevin DeYoung's blog. so this is not my original idea.

For the longest time I always thought that humility is always about making sure I don't stand out or even by putting myself down in away I am just a little lower than everyone else. But all that does is make me less genuine with people and ultimately I am just focusing on myself and how other perceive me, which is a fear of man.

However what C.S. Lewis said in this quote is that true humility is not a focus of me being lower than everyone else but is the focus of everyone else is above me. The subtle difference is that one is inward focus and the other outward focus.

This play out so evidently in conversations. As DeYoung mentions that just by asking questions and respond appropriately can really help you grow in humility.

Now what does this look like in real life?
I think this is what it would look like for someone who has the inward humility(I know this one well)

A: Hey I heard you are good at golf.
B: Ohh I am ok.
A: There is no way you are just ok. I heard so many people talking about it.
B: Yea I guess. I am really not that good, I am not really consistent, can't really putt and don't really have a short game.
A: ohh I see.... so what do you shoot?
B: umm I average around 75 or something.
A: what!?! that is really good.

On the other hand outward focus would be( I think)

A: Hey I heard you are good at golf?
B: Oh. where you heard that from?
A: Just heard it from the grapevine.
B: Are you interested in playing golf?
A: Not really my parents play a lot though. they really love it.
B: That is cool if not golf what sports do you like to play?

and so on and so forth.

I am not sure if this is too ideal but you guys get the point.

But this is something I am really lacking in, and really need to work on since I am very comfortable just being in my study room.=p again as DeYoung said its doable.

Lastly, I really love what DeYoung said at the end the reason why we can have this outward focus is to have Love for our Neighbors. Where does this love for our neighbors comes from... from the Love of Christ we experience. Just as Clearly 1 John 3:16-17 stated "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?"

So Yea...