Reflection

If you are anything like me. I'll be quick to introspection, and be quick to condemn myself for not being what i just stated before.

it might start something like this... and It had for me.


That is what I want right? Maybe.... ? (post about Plodding Visionary)

I can say that "YES" that is what I want.... in my mind, but somehow functionally my life said something else. My life is fill with compromising moments, where I would read this manga for far too long, or gchating with people for an extra hour too long, eat one too many meals =p haha, or it's ok I'll lose that one hour of sleep doing nothing, or I'll read the Word tomorrow morning,or I'll encourage this person later because its weird,or it's ok i don't have to talk to my dad about God this time, or it's ok if I sin in this area right?

How much of my functional life is a reflection of that statement of my mind.

Some of these moments are dark moments... moments where no one is there. There are no brothers keeping an eye on you, There are no friends watching.No one is going to know that the reason I talk on gchat for so long is that I need attention from people,no knows that I use manga as a distraction from real work, No one is going to know that passed up a chance to talk to my dad, no one knows that i sinned in [blank].... No need to put up a front because there is no one there....... all that is left is between you and God.. questions becomes... what will I do now? Obey God or not.

I think in these moments Plodding Visionaries would choose to obey.

my thoughts of obedience before is like Yea if God calls me to go on missions I'll go, If He want me to open air preach I would do it. Tell me to ask "That Girl" out I'll ask.. you know God told me to do it. God, all you have to do is tell me.

But faithfulness and obedience is where when God ask you to "lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul," "Bind [My teachings] on your heart always, "pray without ceasing", "deny [yourself]", "take up [your] cross daily and follow me"

My level of obedience in my solitude reveals my true heart attitude.

Here is where I go... that is not doing this... I can't measure up... I am hypocritical... but that is just more about myself and glorify my guilty conscience.

Yes without God that is my natural state its no surprise... BUT GOD... he didn't leave me like that. because He faithfully send a Savior, Jesus faithfully obeyed the Father, and The Holy Spirit will be faithfully working in and through us.

I'll say this. Being faithful is HARD!!! Look at the Big name in the OT David or Abraham. They are faithful people, but you can find moments of unfaithfulness in their lives. The only one who was and is faithful is Christ himself. And he has paid for all of our sins through the cross. that is why 2 Tim 2 tell us that "if we are faithless, he remains faithful." Know that the only reason we can be faithful because He is faithful in persevering us to do so. But this should never excuse us from fighting sin and actively obey God. But is the other side of the guardrails to prevent us from condemnation.